I did whatever I could to handle myself: PM Modi on Godhra train burning

PM Modi recalled how only a single-engine helicopter was available and his security team did not want him to fly on it. He also spoke about the emotions he felt when he visited the site and the way he controlled them.

He said the incident occurred after becoming an MLA for the first time on February 24, 2002. He went to the Assembly for the first time three days later, on February 27, and that's when he heard of the incident.

"I had been an MLA for only three days. And, suddenly, I came to know about that big incident in Godhra. There was a fire on the train. I came to know, gradually, that people were dead. I was obviously very restless, I was worried. As soon as I came out of the Assembly, I said that I wanted to go to Godhra.

"So, I told them that we would go to Vadodara and take a helicopter from there. They said that there was no helicopter. I told them to arrange it from somewhere. I guess ONGC (Oil and Natural Gas Corporation) had one. It was a single-engine helicopter. They said they could not take a VIP. I said, 'I am not a VIP. I am a common man. I will go'," he told Kamath.

This, the PM said, led to a big argument and that's when he offered to give in writing that whatever happened would be his responsibility.

"And I reached Godhra. Now, with that painful sight... several bodies... you can imagine... I am also a human being, I also felt things. But I was aware that, being in this post... I have to stay detached from my emotions, my natural tendency as a human being. I have to rise above it all. And I did whatever I could to handle myself," he recalled.

Responding to the anxiety question, the PM also spoke about the Gujarat elections held later that same year.